Wednesday January 14

Jayne didn’t feel good so she stayed in bed. She feels tired, but hasn’t thrown up or has a headache. I hope she feels better soon.

My worker came today. He said that he can’t work for a couple of weeks as he found out he has a hernia. He will need an operation. I feel sorry for him and hope for his recovery. Tarquin said that I would like someone to come one day a week to do weeding. Gonzalo said that he will ask his brother if he can do it. Otherwise I’ll wait until he returns to work.

I would like someone to come and keep the garden nice. The person I have that cuts the grass wants too much to weed so that is why I want someone else.

Then Tarquin went to the church plaza to meet his son. His mother-in-law took him by taxi, and then she went back to Quito. Tarquin came back in the taxi and we went to the mall. I had to go to the mall to go on the internet. Jayne did not get out of bed when I left.

I went on the internet while Tarquin and Martin walked around the mall. When they came back to the restaurant we all ate. I just had breakfast while he had lunch. Tarquin said earlier said that he would like to treat Jayne and me to lunch or dinner. So we’ll do this after Jayne gets better.

Tarquin bought some toys for his boy while at the mall. Later we had coffee at a coffee shop in the mall. He asked me to watch him while he went into another store. Then his son emptied the bucket that has his ‘building blocks’ inside and just dumped them on the seat and floor. While I observed this I notice something strange. He did not play with them and put the blocks together. He just looked at them like just pieces of things that he didn’t know what to do with! I showed him how one piece connected to another, but his attention span and interest was not there.

Then we went back home. When we got there I noticed that Jayne was still in bed.

When Tarquin’s son and I were on the patio he had dumped out the blocks again. He took a broom and swept them up as if it was trash. I noticed how strange. When I was his age (about 3-4) I was playing with blocks and knew how to build things. But for Martin this is beyond him.

I didn’t have to be shown at his age how to play with blocks, I automatically did it. I remember that I was given a bag of wooden blocks that was my father’s as a child and they were not like the Lego blocks that they make today where you can see how they connect. You had to carefully put one wooden block on top of another.

His child looks normal but he doesn’t act normal. It could be because his parents don’t spend quality time with him.

Years ago I read something about what was on National Geographic and the article said how they have to train Negros adults in Africa how to use a shovel and move dirt from one area to another. The author went on to say, “Have you ever had to train your child how to use a shovel? No. When you went to the beach with your child you gave him/her a shovel and bucket and they automatically start shoveling and putting sand in the bucket.”

Earlier I told Tarquin that I have some cartoons for him to watch. He said that he’s too young to watch them. He has to see something with colors and images. His son is really behind his age group. His son looks normal, he doesn’t look like he’s retarded or has Down’s syndrome, which would explain his actions.

When we were in the supermarket his son started to open the package of butter that I bought. When we got to the cashier she noticed that the plastic container of milk was leaking. So, he must have squeezed that, too!

Can you imagine if you had this much trouble with your child? I think this stems from the child not being correct as he grows up, and I don’t mean just with words but using the back of your hand – assuming the child can connect a little pain with what he/she did wrong.

It’s not that I’m a genius but I believe that most children of my generation are much further ahead than the generation of today. If children today are brought up with the morals and parental guidance as they did years ago they would be smarter and much better behaved. This is true when I was a child. But sad to say, Tarquin’s children are not like this.

One more thing about his son – who is 3 and closer for 4 years old – that he still wears diapers (nappies)! I noticed that when every his son did something in his pants Tarquin would say, “What did you do? Did you do a poo in your pants?” then he would smile. Now, here is a boy who is at least 3.5 years old and his father (and I presume his mother, too) does nothing to correct him. When you just say “What did you do” and smile, the child doesn’t learn has he thinks that everything is normal. What should be done is saying something like this, “Now you tell me when you have to pee or poo and I’ll take you to the toilet.” And when he does go in his pants say, “Now I told you to tell me before you go that you have to use the toilet,” or “That’s not nice, you’re a big boy (or girl) and big boys/girls don’t go in their pants.”

That’s how a child learns.

Later in the afternoon, Tarquin had to go to the city to meet his lawyer. He took his son with him. He told me he’d be meeting his wife there and they will go out to eat. Then he’ll return in the evening.

Jayne got up for a short time in the afternoon (after Tarquin left) then went back to bed. I sure hope she feels better soon.

In the evening Tarquin and Martin came back here. Katherine and one of his workers – Daniel – drove them back. Tarquin said his goodbyes to the worker and his wife.

At this time Jayne got up, as she was in bed all day. This was about 8pm.

Tarquin told us what happened. He said he met with his lawyer and his assistant. He found out that the State plans to detain him in the near future. He found this out by having a paid a worker to get the information. It was suggested that he leave the country as soon as possible. Though he said it will probably be a week before they issue the orders.

Even though he is just a suspect, they will keep you in prison until it goes to court. He did not know if they have bail or how much it would be if such as the case. Tarquin doesn’t want to spend any time in jail.

He went on to explain that the government will not issue and extradition orders on someone who is just a suspect. But I don’t know about that, as when people do become ‘fugitives’ it’s before a person goes to court. However with a fugitive it is a crime in the U.S. I don’t know about here.

So he plans to leave the country by way of crossing the border in Columbia. This is the easiest way to leave the country. Then he’ll fly to Argentina. The reason why he’s going there is that his wife plans to go to culinary school there to learn more about cooking. She made these plans back in the summer and already paid half the price. She still plans to go through with it, so by Tarquin being there he can find a flat for him and his family to live. The school starts March 1. He’ll also be able to find a school for his older son.

Life and business life is very fragile. Here is a good guy who wouldn’t hurt anyone now has to flee the country, leave his family and business behind.

He’s not charged with anything yet, they just want to detain him. Just on this bases it’s not right and there is no justice in putting someone in jail who is not charged with anything. I don’t blame him for leaving, I would, too, and so would others.

I talked to Tarquin about his property and he told me that the property is all in his wife’s name. however, they had bought (with financing) an apartment in Quito and I asked him about that. he said that they will keep it. They already paid $10,000. I suggested that if it comes to selling everything he can sell it (like millions do) before it’s paid off.

Another thought that I got later is, that he should give power of attorney to his lawyer (the same one that I have) if it has to be sold when neither of them can come back to the country. But I’m sure he didn’t do this. Maria, the lawyer, didn’t fly back from her trip to Spain until today and probably won’t be in the office until tomorrow. With such a long trip she will probably be home sleeping today and tomorrow. When she does go in when probably has so many things to do.



We chatted until about 10.30pm. Tarquin put his son to bed first then he watched a DVD for about 20 minutes while Jayne and I went to bed.